There are two types of people existing in this world. And we will discuss them tomorrow I just had to make sure I remembered this topic. I should be fresh enough that it won't seem I'm trying to force it, I hope.
Sounds good though doesn't it? I know. I think I have my first book idea.
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One's past is an existence that will never cease. The idea o simply moving on is preposterous and that anyone actually leaves their past behind is not true to themselves and therefore create a larger fake world by the Secondary Imagination as Coleridge once taught us.
Despite the simplistic ideas of Freud there was one before him that came along said, "Hey, I've got something simple that everyone will agree with but because I wrote it, it'll be so much more than anything else today." This great man is the Romantic poet Coleridge who really managed to put down on paper some great poems. His idea on the imagination is that it's divided into two halves. One is the "Primary Imagination" meaning that we as people can only see what's in front of us and it is what it is.
Pretty much kills the idea of even having an imagination but for the sake of the idea and the fake that in the late 1700's early 1800's you could say almost anything and it be considered profound.
Not to get too off track here, also to reach an foot stool for this entry, is the "Secondary Imagination" which is honestly no different than the "Primary" aside from a slight "degree" as Sammy put it. It's the ability to morph that reality before our eyes into something a bit more to appeal to us so that unlike the reality we always see and wish not to this is something that is not so bad. Instead of a person being lost forever they were indeed found and instead of death, there was a sidestep from an eternal ending.
This is the imagination many live by but alas cannot control, because of the "Primary"...
Way to go Sammy, I'm about to base my profound ideas off yours only because I just happened to read it the day after I came up with this idea and finished this the day after that. Darn you.
To continue, the "Primary imagination" is not fully there or lived in any way by the individual therefore because there is no reality there is nothing to create an alternate reality of so it's as obscured as a science fiction novel. These are the people that "erase" their past instead of embracing. The truth behind the "" is many but in this case of erasing the past is that they haven't therefore it's still there to haunt them. Past comes from the Middle English word "passen" meaning to past and ironically enough has come back into modern day English, with a slight change in spelling, you know it as "passin'" as in "I'm just passin' by." No jokes? Ok.
Back on topic, the idea is to never forget who your are or where you came from. It is those details that defines who you are. A person may not like to think so but the simplicity of it all is that just because you past spells out "trouble" does not mean you live up to it but rather you understand it. People should use what has been given to them and not reject it to only make the same mistakes again. "Falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem" coming from a wise man known as Arron Lewis or most may know him as the front man for Staind. People forget that in life there are problems and as such if you wish to live you need to fight the problems.
I like to think I embrace my past although there is much I still try to run from, only to come back with a car and ram it down. By this I mean there were some pretty annoying people in my life that I cared about and gave into just to help only to, as usual, be stabbed in the back. If I let that concern me enough I would not be where I am today. I know of the life I lived, I know o the mistakes I made, and I know the trouble I caused and seen. This is nothing for me to regret though or live in shame for because by doing such would be denying my life and that for roughly 8 years of my life it was meaningless, useless, and down right pointless in the whole scheme of things. Was it though? It got me to the center of ordeals and situations if I acted as expected I would have never achieved the influence I had on others. Ironically enough it was not a bad one. From the events I shared I actually had a very positive influence in how life can be lived or the way it should. If you knew me you would seriously wonder how this was possible but I did.
There was a sincerity in my actions, somehow, and the life I lived that I changed people's lives. Of course this was not something angelic and nothing Touched By An Angel as a halo did not appear with a bright light as not everyone believed, care, or bothered with what I spoke to them about. The thing is, find me one preacher, missionary, Christian or...zealot's the wrong word but you get where I'm going with this that can get to those people on a personal level by simple walking up to them and asking, "Have you found Jesus yet?"
No, this is nothing preachy, as I did not alway go straight into the idea of something greater, just the idea of a better path. All the while though I lived the life of...something less than moralistic so Constantine is a better comparison as after awhile I sometimes wonder if there was a balance in my actions. From all this I learned to connect with anyone as either being there, learning from, or seeing with my own eyes the lives of those no one tries or can connect with. Embracing my past has allowed me to the happy social person I am today knowing what's really out there and that it is possible to pull out of.
It's the lessons we learn and those we teach from our lives that matter and to erase your past mean you've either learned nothing or do not wish to pass on the news of what could be. The principle of it being totally selfish is not accurate at all as there is the behind the curtains truth, which is not the truth behind the truth, but rather the one hidden away, is that there are many that still need help. They need to see that "Primary imagination" that is reality and know what has happened and that they need to or have escaped from it. It's truth that can set us free if we wish to acknowledge it and by doing so, we upgrade ourselves to a new level that will ease the everyday struggles of life.
I hate to say it, but the life I lived allowed me to see how better my life truly was and not that I look down on people, but knowing about people are starving, abused, or just plain mistreated in anyway is different knowing of it as one relates to a more personal experience. It's this knowledge I hope to pass on throughout my life and creation of this new blog.
Don't ignore what life has shown you. There's a reason for it and it is this reason we must acquire knowledge of and live by and for. Reason is why we live, do you got one?
8.22.2008
8.12.2008
Forever Will Be
As I sit and think tonight...of last night. Well perhaps it was the night before. I'm unsure. I came to a realization of how much I miss writing. It truly is a magical thing and before falling into the much needed slumber required to perform the 8 hard labor hours to come in less than 3 hours, I started to ramble in my brain (as I often do) about life and what I've been missing.
Alas, I'm unable to remember the ramblings much like Coleridge, although I lacked the opium induced comatose sleep or any drug induced dreamland, I do feel I'm lacking in the area upon which I dreamed. Much like Coleridge though there's a thought and truth that lies behind the subconscious. Perhaps it was not the dream we were to write of but rather to write of losing the dream and therefore creating something. For Coleridge he created a magnificent poem titled "Kubla Khan: Or, a Vision in a Dram. A Fragment." that lead writers and artists alike to understand that all visions are not meant to be remembered but rather to learned from. There is a part of the message that is to be received, not the entirety of the sight.
For me there was a much more humble result, the start of a new blog and my attempts at columnistic writing once more. This will be my third online writing...um, journal? I'm not a big fan of blogs because when I was growing up there were no blogs but rather online journals or diaries. Blogging is some stupid liberal idealistic term conjured for the masses to associate with as life as it's no longer private anyhow therefore the idea of a diary or journal should stick to the prehistoric age of struggles to scribble and think as the scroll of words in your head run by faster than the cramped right hand of yours could write.
Sorry, was that a rant?
Truth is, I like the lay out. There, I said it. Let us move on now.
Marriage. It truly is something else and while the thought has truly escaped me, long into Canada I'm sure, there is something I wish to touch base on. It is not scary. I never believed it to be actually. (I'm sure as before, there will be much on love and faith here as there once was but not always in the specific and sometimes relating to my past, as it's possibly more extensive than some 30 year olds.) My thought of marriage, the proposal, dating in general, was the creation of comfort. While dating is nothing but a lie for some, once you get pass the whole "going out" phase and actually the achieve those wonderful IM titles of BF & GF, the idea is to be comfortable. Should you be able to crap while she takes a shower...no. Honestly that should never happen but comfort levels differ amongst people. Should you no longer care about sucking in your gut an possibly head to some location that requires your shirt off in public?
She already knows you have a few extra pounds. It's not like she never laid on your stomach before or patted you on the belly; the truth is already out there, the idea is for you to agree with it. The same goes for our female audience out there as it should be known we think your hot in some way or another or else we would have left by now. Get real, it's not like we do not see easily a hundred hot or hotter (yes I said it) girls a day but truth is they're probably a bunch of stupid, blonde, obsessive, jealous, stuck-up, pretentious, slutty, girls. Also we don't want to go to jail. AS for the legal ones, well, we already got through stage 1 with you after X amount of months, why start over?
It's sarcasm. You'll get used to it.
All relationships should, ideally, work the only thing in the way are the lies and initial false impressions. Know what your non-negotiables are, if you're Catholic I would suggest never being with a Buddhists. There will be issues. Now obviously the first date conversation should not include children, ideal city to live in, and 5 year plans. Well, maybe if you're over 30. Good luck by the way. There is a speed to approach such topics though and the quicker you know the sooner you know whether it's worth the gamble if your life or not. I've been, unknowingly, in relationships where she planned on ending it after school ended or a certain date because afterward, what's the point? Nice girl though, we keep in touch a lot. More me than here. A few emails here and there, never know what you'll get when you click on the "YOU'VE WON!!!" link. For some reason she keeps buying new computers.
Alas, I'm unable to remember the ramblings much like Coleridge, although I lacked the opium induced comatose sleep or any drug induced dreamland, I do feel I'm lacking in the area upon which I dreamed. Much like Coleridge though there's a thought and truth that lies behind the subconscious. Perhaps it was not the dream we were to write of but rather to write of losing the dream and therefore creating something. For Coleridge he created a magnificent poem titled "Kubla Khan: Or, a Vision in a Dram. A Fragment." that lead writers and artists alike to understand that all visions are not meant to be remembered but rather to learned from. There is a part of the message that is to be received, not the entirety of the sight.
For me there was a much more humble result, the start of a new blog and my attempts at columnistic writing once more. This will be my third online writing...um, journal? I'm not a big fan of blogs because when I was growing up there were no blogs but rather online journals or diaries. Blogging is some stupid liberal idealistic term conjured for the masses to associate with as life as it's no longer private anyhow therefore the idea of a diary or journal should stick to the prehistoric age of struggles to scribble and think as the scroll of words in your head run by faster than the cramped right hand of yours could write.
Sorry, was that a rant?
Truth is, I like the lay out. There, I said it. Let us move on now.
Marriage. It truly is something else and while the thought has truly escaped me, long into Canada I'm sure, there is something I wish to touch base on. It is not scary. I never believed it to be actually. (I'm sure as before, there will be much on love and faith here as there once was but not always in the specific and sometimes relating to my past, as it's possibly more extensive than some 30 year olds.) My thought of marriage, the proposal, dating in general, was the creation of comfort. While dating is nothing but a lie for some, once you get pass the whole "going out" phase and actually the achieve those wonderful IM titles of BF & GF, the idea is to be comfortable. Should you be able to crap while she takes a shower...no. Honestly that should never happen but comfort levels differ amongst people. Should you no longer care about sucking in your gut an possibly head to some location that requires your shirt off in public?
She already knows you have a few extra pounds. It's not like she never laid on your stomach before or patted you on the belly; the truth is already out there, the idea is for you to agree with it. The same goes for our female audience out there as it should be known we think your hot in some way or another or else we would have left by now. Get real, it's not like we do not see easily a hundred hot or hotter (yes I said it) girls a day but truth is they're probably a bunch of stupid, blonde, obsessive, jealous, stuck-up, pretentious, slutty, girls. Also we don't want to go to jail. AS for the legal ones, well, we already got through stage 1 with you after X amount of months, why start over?
It's sarcasm. You'll get used to it.
All relationships should, ideally, work the only thing in the way are the lies and initial false impressions. Know what your non-negotiables are, if you're Catholic I would suggest never being with a Buddhists. There will be issues. Now obviously the first date conversation should not include children, ideal city to live in, and 5 year plans. Well, maybe if you're over 30. Good luck by the way. There is a speed to approach such topics though and the quicker you know the sooner you know whether it's worth the gamble if your life or not. I've been, unknowingly, in relationships where she planned on ending it after school ended or a certain date because afterward, what's the point? Nice girl though, we keep in touch a lot. More me than here. A few emails here and there, never know what you'll get when you click on the "YOU'VE WON!!!" link. For some reason she keeps buying new computers.
About Me
What's up? I'm Nathan Carroll but you can call me Nate C. as it's how I sign about everything these days. I'm 21 and an independent photographer of Last Shot Photography. I've worked for companies such as The Picture People, TSS Photography, and JC Penny's Portrait studio shooting portraits, sports, and events. I also shot for Kodak at Cypress Gardens for the ski shows, Belle shoots, and other events there.
I've been raised as a military brat so I've traveled the world and have seen much from many perspectives. As such I've come to write, draw, and photograph my adventures so I'm an artist in many forms. Hoping to teach English and possibly write a few books, photography is still a number priority, I'm just realistic in that it may take awhile for my business to be ready as the sole income for me. Besides, I love writing and teaching so I'll always have the summer for all those weddings.
I started this site for fun and miss writing and being able to add photos will be a treat to keep up with events in my life. Thanks for looking and if you want to see just photos, my site is here at L.S. Photography.
-Nate C.
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