Forever Will Be

As I sit and think tonight...of last night. Well perhaps it was the night before. I'm unsure. I came to a realization of how much I miss writing. It truly is a magical thing and before falling into the much needed slumber required to perform the 8 hard labor hours to come in less than 3 hours, I started to ramble in my brain (as I often do) about life and what I've been missing.

Alas, I'm unable to remember the ramblings much like Coleridge, although I lacked the opium induced comatose sleep or any drug induced dreamland, I do feel I'm lacking in the area upon which I dreamed. Much like Coleridge though there's a thought and truth that lies behind the subconscious. Perhaps it was not the dream we were to write of but rather to write of losing the dream and therefore creating something. For Coleridge he created a magnificent poem titled "Kubla Khan: Or, a Vision in a Dram. A Fragment." that lead writers and artists alike to understand that all visions are not meant to be remembered but rather to learned from. There is a part of the message that is to be received, not the entirety of the sight.

For me there was a much more humble result, the start of a new blog and my attempts at columnistic writing once more. This will be my third online writing...um, journal? I'm not a big fan of blogs because when I was growing up there were no blogs but rather online journals or diaries. Blogging is some stupid liberal idealistic term conjured for the masses to associate with as life as it's no longer private anyhow therefore the idea of a diary or journal should stick to the prehistoric age of struggles to scribble and think as the scroll of words in your head run by faster than the cramped right hand of yours could write.

Sorry, was that a rant?

Truth is, I like the lay out. There, I said it. Let us move on now.

Marriage. It truly is something else and while the thought has truly escaped me, long into Canada I'm sure, there is something I wish to touch base on. It is not scary. I never believed it to be actually. (I'm sure as before, there will be much on love and faith here as there once was but not always in the specific and sometimes relating to my past, as it's possibly more extensive than some 30 year olds.) My thought of marriage, the proposal, dating in general, was the creation of comfort. While dating is nothing but a lie for some, once you get pass the whole "going out" phase and actually the achieve those wonderful IM titles of BF & GF, the idea is to be comfortable. Should you be able to crap while she takes a shower...no. Honestly that should never happen but comfort levels differ amongst people. Should you no longer care about sucking in your gut an possibly head to some location that requires your shirt off in public?

She already knows you have a few extra pounds. It's not like she never laid on your stomach before or patted you on the belly; the truth is already out there, the idea is for you to agree with it. The same goes for our female audience out there as it should be known we think your hot in some way or another or else we would have left by now. Get real, it's not like we do not see easily a hundred hot or hotter (yes I said it) girls a day but truth is they're probably a bunch of stupid, blonde, obsessive, jealous, stuck-up, pretentious, slutty, girls. Also we don't want to go to jail. AS for the legal ones, well, we already got through stage 1 with you after X amount of months, why start over?

It's sarcasm. You'll get used to it.

All relationships should, ideally, work the only thing in the way are the lies and initial false impressions. Know what your non-negotiables are, if you're Catholic I would suggest never being with a Buddhists. There will be issues. Now obviously the first date conversation should not include children, ideal city to live in, and 5 year plans. Well, maybe if you're over 30. Good luck by the way. There is a speed to approach such topics though and the quicker you know the sooner you know whether it's worth the gamble if your life or not. I've been, unknowingly, in relationships where she planned on ending it after school ended or a certain date because afterward, what's the point? Nice girl though, we keep in touch a lot. More me than here. A few emails here and there, never know what you'll get when you click on the "YOU'VE WON!!!" link. For some reason she keeps buying new computers.